Edit Like Your Career Depends On It (Because It Fucking Does)

Listen up, you caffeine-addled, deadline-haunted bastards of the editing room. Your salvation has arrived, and it's got more kick than that suspiciously unlabelled bottle in the back of the break room fridge.

What the Hell Is This?

Pocket Producer is the digital equivalent of that unhinged PA who's way too good at their job – the one who makes you wonder if they've got a few screws loose or if they're just operating on a higher plane of existence. It's here to turn your bloated, rambling footage into lean, mean, content-machine fuel faster than you can say "Fix it in post."

React App

Who Needs This Shit?

  • Editors on the verge of a mental breakdown (so, all of you)
  • Podcast producers who've contemplated "accidentally" deleting entire interviews
  • Documentary makers drowning in a sea of talking heads
  • Anyone who's ever fantasized about gagging a longwinded interviewee (metaphorically, you sickos)

The Unholy Trinity of Tech

We've Frankensteined together a monster that would make Mary Shelley proud:

  • React: Because we like our UIs like we like our relationships – complex and likely to break at any moment.
  • Firebase: Hosting hotter than the dumpster fire that is your current project.
  • AI Magic: Deepgram and Groq working together like a pair of junkyard dogs, sniffing out the good bits from the garbage.

How This Nightmare Comes to Life

  1. Upload: Toss your bloated file at us like it's a hot potato (75MB for cheapskates, 150MB for the bourgeoisie)
  2. Pick Your Poison: Choose a mood – from "Oscar bait" to "straight-to-streaming trash"
  3. Set the Doomsday Clock: How long before your sanity implodes? 15 to 90 seconds, take your pick.
  4. Watch the Carnage: Our AI gremlins tear into your footage like it's the last meal before the electric chair.
  5. Reap the Rewards: Get highlights so tight they'd make a loan shark jealous, complete with timecodes accurate enough to alibi a mafia don.

Why You Need This More Than Your Next Hit of Espresso

  • Time-Saver Supreme: Cut through the crap faster than a hot knife through the butter of your abandoned health goals.
  • Precision Timecodes: Navigate your timeline like a coked-up squirrel in a nut factory.
  • AI-Powered Highlights: It's like having a psychic intern who works for exposure and actually delivers.
  • Mood Magic: Bend the tone to your will like a reality TV producer with a villain edit quota.

The Tech Stack from Hell (In a Good Way)

We've cobbled together a Frankenstein's monster of tech that would make Dr. Frankenstein himself weep with joy (or horror, we're not picky):

  • Frontend: React, because we enjoy living dangerously with our state management.
  • Backend: Firebase Functions, serverless like your love life.
  • Database: Firestore, where your data goes to party harder than Keith Richards in the 70s.
  • Storage: Firebase Storage, more secure than your therapist's filing cabinet.
  • Auth: Firebase Auth, keeping out the riffraff like a digital bouncer with a god complex.
  • Payments: Stripe, smoother than your attempts to expense that "work-related" trip to Vegas.

Alpha Testing: Be Our Lab Rat (The Glowing, Mutant Kind)

We need brave (or desperate) souls to put this beast through its paces. What's in it for you?

  • Early access to tech so cutting-edge you might lose a finger
  • A chance to shape the future of editing (time machine not included, paradoxes very much included)
  • Our undying gratitude (and maybe some stickers, if we're feeling generous)

How to Sell Your Soul to Pocket Producer

  1. Stumble over to app.ei.au (after you sober up)
  2. Sign up faster than you can say "I'll fix it in post"
  3. Upload your nightmarish footage and watch the magic/horror unfold
  4. Tell us your deepest, darkest thoughts about the experience (therapy not included)

The Not-So-Fine Print

  • This is an alpha. It might crash harder than your last attempt at networking at a film festival.
  • Your data is safer with us than with your ex who still has your Netflix password.
  • Free users get 75MB uploads. Premium users get 150MB because in this industry, size really does fucking matter.

Ready to cut through the bullshit faster than a hot blade through your dwindling career prospects? Dive into Pocket Producer and let's turn that editing nightmare into a fever dream of efficiency!